I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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