i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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