i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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