I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
