What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
