Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
