I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
