I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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