and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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