Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
