i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
