Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
