That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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