do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
