So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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