dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
