somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You are the jesus of drinking
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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