I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
