Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
