I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
