The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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