im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
