Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
