My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
