how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
