And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
