I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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