It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
