I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
