put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
