just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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