I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
