please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
