come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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