On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
