shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
