There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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