your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This girl is more easily done than said...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
