Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He felt like a one man threesome
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
