I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
