So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
