How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
