Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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