please come you make the beer taste better
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
