The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
