Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
