It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
