Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
