i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
