I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
