So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
there is glitter all over my balls
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize