Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
