I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
