I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
