worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
