I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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