High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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