I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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