I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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