I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
