Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize