If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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