And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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