Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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