im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Watching her eat just hurts me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
